I definitely have off days where I start to doubt myself and my abilities, but looking back on my previous lifts from my meets, I'm always re-motivated by the desire to win the competition against myself. I am looking forward to school being out for the summer in 3 weeks so I can really shift my focus to training for the meet and also giving 100% to my clients at Healthworks. Being a full-time student, having a full-time job and being a competitive athlete takes a toll, but I love everything I do and wouldn't change it for the world. Having a little break from school does help though, and also gives me some time to have fun and actually enjoy being 22...something I don't always prioritize...haha
I debated deleting the video of my deadlift fail all together, but then accepted that failing is a part of life and I may as well own it. My deadlift is my favorite lift, but with that comes a lot of pressure. I am so terrified of failing at a PR attempt that I mentally abort the lift if I know it's heavier than I've done before. I have been trying new training strategies to overcome these inhibitions, but it's a mental battle I still struggle with! I do a lot of accessory work as well: grip, hamstring, upper back and lat strengthening are my main focuses to make sure I don't let these weaknesses inhibit my potential.